The top 10 highest-paid players: lite footballers make silly money. Money that we mortals struggle to conceive of in our skint little brains. Makes us wish we’d tried harder in PE and done a few more sit-ups instead of seeing how many chicken dippers we could scrap without dying.
Footballer wages are higher than they’ve ever been right now, with the sport watched around the world, TV rights skyrocketing, and the Saudi Pro League throwing cash at the sport with reckless abandon.
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We’ve compiled a list of the 10 best-paid players in the game. We wish we hadn’t. A harrowing read lies ahead.
10. Kylian Mbappe: £300,000 p/w
Some of you might have expected Mbappe to be a little higher up this list but no, the Frenchman is on a meagre £300k per week at Real Madrid.
If Kylian is on £300k, you’ve got to wonder what Master Splinter is on. We shouldn’t have asked.
9. Harry Kane: £400,000 p/w
The only Englishman on this list, Kane signed for Bayern Munich in the summer of 2023 for over €100m. Add to that a £20.8m per year salary… Well, it’s just a lot of money, isn’t it?
To be fair, the bloke scored 44 goals in 45 matches during his first season in Bavaria, so… Does that justify it? Kind of? Within the context of today’s financial insanity?
Related video: 6 Footballers Who Always Followed the Money (Soccer Stories)
As an age-old debate that will never be resolved,
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8. Kalidou Koulibaly: £500,000 p/w
Was not expecting this name. Eight years at Napoli during which the Senegalese established himself as one of the best central defenders on the planet, was followed by one underwhelming season in Chelsea.
At the end of that season, Al-Hilal (more on them later) paid the Blues £20m for his services and whacked a contract in front of him worth half a million a week.
Neymar of Al Hilal celebrating
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7. N’Golo Kante: £500,000 p/w
Another Chelsea export to Saudi Arabia, Kante signed for Al-Ittihad, also in the summer of ’23. The 33-year-old proved that he’s still one of the very best in the game during Euro 2024 and, like Koulibaly, is making a cool half a million quid per week over in Saudi.
6. Riyad Mahrez: £580,000 p/w
The summer of 2023 is responsible for a large portion of this list. After concreting himself in Premier League history with first Leicester City, and then Manchester City, Mahrez jumped ship to Saudi Arabia, where he joined Al-Ittihad.
He’s since had a Riyad Mahrez-themed app created. Super weird. But he’s making £580k a week, which is enough to rid anyone of their senses.
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5. Sadio Mane: £650,000 p/w
Mane got in a bit of bother at Bayern Munich. Punched Leroy Sane in the face, according to reports. Can’t be punching people in the face. The following summer he was gone, flown off to Al-Nassr in the Saudi Pro League.
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4. Lionel Messi: £750,000 p/w
NUMBER FOUR! Bet you weren’t expecting that. The greatest ever to do it, only the fourth-highest-paid footballer on Earth.
Just goes to show the Argentine ain’t doing it for the money over in Miami. Playing for free. We wouldn’t even get out of bed for £750k per week. A true modern-day hero.
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3. Karim Benzema: £1.6m p/w
Benzema joined Kante’s Al-Ittihad on a free transfer from Real Madrid, which perhaps accounts for his monumental wages. £83.2m per year. Crazy.
If he comes to the pub after five, we are not getting a round in.
2. Neymar: £1.7m p/w
Just pipping Benzema into second place, Al-Hilal’s second entry in this list, Neymar Jr.’s earning six times the amount he was making at PSG, which is a thought that barely touches the sides of our brain before slipping senselessly out into the ether.
It simply can’t be good for a person to be making that much money. God. We’d never cook a meal. Restaurants every night.
1. Cristiano Ronaldo: £3.4m p/w
Obviously. The fact that Ronaldo is making twice as much as Neymar is a little unsettling. Al-Nassr has got the Portuguese star on £176.8m per year.
There are 170 million pieces of space debris orbiting Earth right now. Not sure if Al-Nassr negotiated some sort of contract in which Ronaldo gets a quid for every piece of Earth-orbiting space debris in existence, but it’s a nice thought.
